Wheels Within Wheels

Chris Blackhurst draws back the veil on the secret arts that corporate lobbyists use to shield their influence over politicians from the public

There was panic, initially. The billionaire, who was involved in a deal that would almost certainly require Government approval, had given his hospitality box to a senior minister.

It would have to be declared, the value of the box, with food and drink, was far in excess of the limit for non-disclosure. It wouldn’t look good, was bound to raise questions. He would tell the minister that, on second thoughts, it wasn’t a smart idea.

Wait, though, said his external agency advisor, there might be a solution.

An hour or so later, the advisor rang back triumphantly. Problem solved as had been suggested. The box would go into the name of a close friend of the minister. The latter would still enjoy with their guests one of the best views in the house, tuck into a fine meal and wine, all totally free, and nobody, least of all the opposition, need know. As far as the world knew, the billionaire’s box was let to the friend, not the minister, and it was their guests, not the minister’s, who were being entertained.

This conundrum is real. The concerned industrialist was worried he’d blundered, but there was a neat solution that avoided embarrassing him or the minister. It’s repeated in some form or other, every day, among London’s public affairs agencies. I nearly said ‘lobbying’ but provided you don’t call yourself lobbyists you don’t have to sign the UK Lobbying Register (true). It’s genius, straight from the top drawer of Sir Humphrey Appleby, the devious adviser in the comedy series, Yes Minister: describe yourself as anything you want, provided it’s not the ‘L’ word.

How to circumvent the rules, to carry on donating, funding, supporting, persuading and influencing without it being disclosed, has been turned into an art form by London’s most skilled lobbyists. Not all. Some of them do insist on remaining above board, everything declarable. Others, though, prefer to skirt below the radar, rarely getting caught.