Russell Jones's Week Moment: Nigel Farage Launches His 'Vapid Response Unit' for Donald Trump

The Reform UK leader had a tough time defending the indefensible this week, reports Russell Jones

It has become commonplace for those on the left – or at least anybody who isn’t actively from the right – to stand accused of lacking patriotic fervour, simply because we want to adequately fund and defend the health, education, pensions, institutions, and human rights that were established on behalf of the British people.

“I love my country” is a lovely soundbite, but if you support policies that rob that country, starve it of funds, neglect its organisational foundations, and dehumanise large numbers of its residents, what is it you’re left loving? The rain?

But what do I know? Perhaps patriotism really is nothing more than bigotry, flags and football chants. However, in the perhaps forlorn hope of encouraging a broader patriotism, let me put forward a proposition that may make your eyes boggle.

Britain is a great democracy. There. I said it.

What Britain isn’t is a great representative democracy. When was the last time you felt your opinions represented by the actions of government? Only 6% of us think our views are the main influence on decisions made by ministers, and at the risk of offending 6% of you, you’re quite clearly a bunch of clattering idiots. If they don’t care what Jeremy Clarkson thinks, they certainly don’t care about you.

I’d like to say it’s the same everywhere, but I don’t think it is.

Across the globe, politicians believe themselves to be intrepid and invincible, but not here in Britain. Here, they are unfailingly vincible, and steadfastly trepid. Not one of them is hapful, reckful, gormful, or ept. And as Macron fact-checks Trump’s scatological redrawing of the West’s political settlement head on, our lot seem frozen by timidity and indecision, incapable of even whispering something that might offend Hair Hitler.

I would make the format of my next book a homage to Britain’s political leadership, but I can’t figure out a way to publish it without a spine.